Well, today I feel like an old lady because I was in our campus coffee shop, waiting in line, and as I looked around, almost every single student I saw was just staring at their phones, even when they were sitting with someone else, and, one case, even when that other person was actively talking to them. And I thought, “Oh god, this is so depressing, put your phones down, people!” And I was suddenly 80 years old.
I know, I know, I know, this is such a common lament it’s probably a waste of bandwidth to even sit here and write this. And I AM old: when I went to college, almost no one had cell phones. One of my friends had one, but it was for emergencies only and she kept it in her car’s glove compartment, which was not even parked near our dorm. I got my first cell phone a few months after I graduated. It was a different era.
And it’s not like I’m anti-cell phone. Hell, for the first few minutes I was standing in line, I was staring at mine, too. Nearly every one of us is tethered to these devices, to some degree. But it made me think about an article I read recently in The New York Times, which gave a close look into the lives of three 13-year-old girls in the US. I remembered one of the girls describing the level of physical anxiety she experiences when she doesn’t have her phone, and I looked at these students who were clutching their own, staring at them instead of interacting with the people around them, or even just looking at the things going on around them.
There are so many things about this that make me sad. It makes me sad that we are losing our ability to be bored, and to just sit and stare and think without needing the constant stimulation of the internet. It makes me sad to think of the ways that being so immersed in our phones when we are out in public serves to disconnect us from the people and the world around us. And then I start thinking about the whole vibe that exists in that digital world: the world of influencers and constant targeted advertising, of seeing only the sparkly, shiny parts of other people’s lives and not the quotidian day-to-day realities, and of how easy it is to attack others, to be selfish and self-centered because the impact you might be having on others is distant and invisible.
Maybe it makes me sad because I feel so powerless to change any of it. I recognize my own constant craving for the dopamine boost of scrolling through Instagram, and the pressure I sometimes feel to make my life look interesting online. I know this is just the world we live in now.
But what I wish students could have time and space, during this time they are here in college, to step back from the constant stimulation, the constant digital connection. To be embodied in their lives here, on campus. And to never feel anxiety when they are separated from their phones, to instead feel possibility.