If I said I was feeling defeated last week, that feeling has multiplied by 1,000 after the results of this week’s election. US voters elected Trump to another four years in office, an action which, while not surprising, still leaves me reeling. there are so many thoughts connected to this election that I’m trying to get straight in my mind, and writing always helps me do that, so here I am.
The most obviously depressing and soul-crushing aspect of this election is that a majority of US voters have no problem with the vile, racist, misogynistic things that Trump and his fellow Republicans have been spewing for years. They know who he is: a hateful, xenophobic, racist man who sexually assaults women and has no respect for women or people of color as fellow human people. They know who he is and they do not care. In fact, a large proportion of them appear to be grateful that they no longer have to hide their own racism and bigotry. Eight years ago, I said that Trump was the “last gasp” of a dying past, but that past shows no signs of letting go. We are not a nation continuing to expand liberty and freedom for more people. We are a nation of terrified bigots who only care about liberty and freedom for themselves and people just like them.
I also can’t help connecting this to the death grip of neoliberalism on all of our social, cultural, and economic institutions. When you push an ideology that says every man is out for himself and the only value that matters is the accumulation of wealth, people are only going to vote in what they perceive to be their own economic self-interest. Let’s set aside for now the fact that Republican economic policies do not benefit the majority of the American people and they never will. Republicans have done a very good job of convincing a lot of people that the reason they are experiencing economic distress is because of “the other,” because of immigrants and women taking their jobs. They create a lot of “others,” focusing people’s attention on cultural change to distract from the disaster that is their economic policies. Neoliberalism is about more than economic policies, it’s about creating a culture that shrinks all value down to the value of the market. That culture isolates people and pits us against each other. It makes it incredibly difficult to build community, to create social networks that boost each other up, and to take care of those among us who most need help.
As a librarian, of course, the piece of all of this that produces the most cognitive dissonance is the fact that reality and facts clearly have no meaning anymore. Our media landscape has become so fractured and so vast, we no longer have a common understanding of the world. This has been written about by people much smarter and more talented than I, so I’m not going to delve much deeper here. But it breaks my brain to realize that there are huge numbers of people who believe things for which there is absolutely no evidence, who believe that there are huge conspiracies against “their side,” and who seem incapable or unwilling to consider any information that might conflict with their worldview.
I am trying to move forward, to focus on how we push back against this onslaught of hatred and racism and misogyny. I’m trying to keep perspective, remember history, recognize that this is just one moment in time. But I’m so tired. There are too many parts of my life where I feel like I’m fighting harder than I should have to for the things I value and believe in. This culture of greed, self-interest, and vapidity feels like it’s rolling over me and flattening me, and I don’t know how to fight it.
Every day this week, I get up, I get dressed, I go out into the world and try to do my job, but it has never felt more futile than it does now. I hope this feeling passes, but I’m not so sure it will.